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Miami Cigar Company's 'All-Star Sampler'

Value Vultures and Blowout Buzzards rejoice! Today is the day your frugality and unwavering loyalty will be handsomely rewarded with a Holly Jolly deal of epic proportions... Our good friends at Miami Cigar Company were in a bind recently when they found themselves saddled from floor to ceiling with a massive inventory of immobile, over-produced, dead wood cigars. Distressed and distraught, they frantically placed a collect call to the Lumber Liquidation hotline here at Holt's. After sharpening our #2 pencils and rolling up the sleeves on our lumberjack jackets, we brought the hammer down like a strongman at a carnival and bought up every last cigar for pennies on the dollar. What this means for you my fine frugal friends is that you can now procure an all-star collection of untamed boomsticks from our good friends at Miami Cigar Co. for a competition-crushing, wood-splintering, price-protected $2.49 per cigar. Armed with woodsy notes of oak, cedar and maple, as well as an orca-sized 77% off discount, this deal is hotter than a Hollywood scandal! Put that in your humidor and smoke it, son!